Ghosts
by Abarai Starsha
Summary: Moving on can be a hard thing to do when you're still tied to ghosts of the past. Not sure about the rating, so I put it at M to be safe.


**AN: I think I'm getting the hang of these one shots…**

**I do not own Bleach, still thankful for its existence, can't wait for Rukia's return… **

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Ghosts

By: Abarai Starsha

They were both panting as they were about to reach climax. Sweat covered both of their bodies, making them glisten in the moonlight. She threw her head back and arched up meeting his every thrust. She loved the feel of him inside of her, the way he moved, the way he held her, the way he made love to her.

"God! Momo!" He said as he came.

She froze. Her breath caught in her throat as he shuddered, finished and roll himself off of her. He sat up, bowed his head and closed his teal eyes. He couldn't bear to look at her. Not now. He felt shame and embarrassment wash over him. He ran his hands through his white locks and sighed.

She didn't know what to do, she couldn't move. She was stunned into silence. The fact that he said _that_ name… She felt naked, used, unloved. She managed to look at him, but his eyes were closed. Coward. She found her clothing and started to dress. She wanted out of there as soon as possible. Maybe if she made it back to her room, her bed she would realize it was all a dream. A nightmare in which she was about to wake up.

She finished tying her sash and secured her sword to her hip when he spoke.

"Rukia…"

"Don't." She said, finding her voice.

"I have to…"

"No. No you don't, _taicho,_" she said as she spat his title. She finished dressing herself and started walking up the hill.

"Rukia! … Rukia!" He called out after her, but she did not return. Toshiro put his clothes on and followed after her. He didn't know what to say to make it better. Were there actual words that would make someone feel better after what he did? He pondered that for a minute, long enough for him to reach the top of the hill where he decided that there were no words. Maybe enough people knew not to be a total ass in this situation that words for this have not been invented.

"Rukia!" He called again. He knew she already used the flash step and she was long gone. How could he be so damned stupid. It's been almost two years since the war, since Momo died. He wasn't even thinking about her…during…the act. It was just right then she popped into his mind. It had to be then of all times. Fuck! He took a chance and headed to her quarters.

"Rukia!" He yelled and pounded on the door. He was angry, very angry and he was taking it out on the door. "Rukia!"

To his surprise, the door flew open and a thin arm shot out, grabbed him and pulled him into the room. She shut the door behind him.

"Shhhhhhh! You idiot! Do you want to wake up the entire division?" She looked at him with fire in her eyes. She was angry…and hurt.

"Rukia, I'm-"

"How could you? Do you know how that made me feel?"

He looked at her with a helpless expression.

"Of course you don't, why would you? You've been oblivious for over six months now," she snapped. "I'm hurt, upset, angry and most of all, you've singlehandedly made me feel like utter shit for being me and not her. I…I feel like I am nothing more than a replacement for her."

"You can't be serious, Rukia, a replacement?"

"Did you not ask me to tie back my hair?"

"Once, I asked you once."

"Do you not order her favorite meals when we go out?"

"I thought you liked…"

"No."

"No?" He sighed and sat on her bed. She sighed and sat next to him, but didn't touch him.

"She's been two years, Toshiro, yet I'm competing with a ghost for your love. It's not fair, and I don't know how long I can keep doing it."

"What about Ichigo?" She turned and looked at him.

"What about Ichigo?"

"Aren't I a replacement for him?"

"How dare you!" she said as she turned and slapped him. "It took me over a year to get over his death, yes, but I moved on. I moved on with you. Can you say the same?"

He looked at her and didn't reply.

"Get out."

He didn't move.

"Get out, Toshiro!" She yelled. She shoved him off of her bed, forcing him to stand. She beat her tiny fists against his chest, chanting for him to get out over and over again as her voice cracked and tears started to form in her eyes.

Toshiro tried to hold her, tried to touch her, but she fought him.

"Don't you see? I have nothing more to give you." Her tears were falling, "I've already given you everything I have, everything I am. I'm sorry it's not enough. I'm sorry I'm not good enough for you. I'm sorry I'm not _her._" He looked like she slapped him again.

"Rukia…" He didn't know what to say.

"Leave. Just leave." She said as she sat back down on her bed.

Toshiro hung his head and left. Rukia picked up a vase and threw it at the door. She picked up another and did the same. Not paying attention, she picked up a picture frame and stopped. The picture was a group shot with her, Ichigo, Orihime, Chad and Ishida. It was the only one she had of him. She immediately held it to her chest and sat back on the bed.

There was a soft knock on the door.

"Go away."

The knock came again. "Rukia? It's me, Renji."

Rukia wiped her eyes and went to open the door, crunching on pieces of pottery.

"I…uh…heard some noises and thought I would check on you." He said as he nervously glanced around her room. "I came to talk to Ukitake and…are you ok?"

"Yes…no," she said as she looked at him. He saw the picture frame in her hand.

"Ichigo?" Thinking she was still missing the guy.

"Toshiro."

"Toshiro?" Now he was confused. He knew the two have been going out for a while now. Heck, they were the topic of many conversations with Rangiku. "What did he do?"

"Nothing, Renji…I shouldn't have said anything."

"Rukia…Don't lie to me. You can lie to anyone else, but not to me. Do you want me to beat the shrimp up?"

"No," she said with a small smile.

"You know I'm taller than he is. I can just step on him." Rukia let out a small snort. "Or, I can get Rangiku. She can just suffocate the poor bastard." Now, Rukia was laughing. Renji smiled. He hated seeing her sad, which seemed to be a constant thing ever since they were separated by the adoption. "What did he do?"

"Renji," she sighed. She wished he would just let it go. This was embarrassing enough.

"Ok, ok…" he said reading her eyes. "I'll back off, for now."

"Thank you, Renji."

* * *

A week later, Toshiro was at his desk pretending to work on his stacks of paperwork when in reality, he was lost in thought. He hadn't gotten much sleep since that night. Every time he tried to see her, she would find a new way to avoid him.

He didn't get much sleep last night either as he kept mulling things over in his brain. It also seemed like he wasn't going to get much work done either. He thought about everything she said. He thought she was being ridiculous, silly maybe even jealous over a ghost, but…

His thoughts were interrupted as Ukitake-taicho popped his head in. Toshiro struggled to hold his eyes steady as he was not in the mood to deal with him.

"Sorry to bother you, but have you seen Rukia this morning?"

"No, why? What happened?"

"Well, she didn't make the Division meeting this morning, which is odd in itself, but when I went to check on her, her room was a mess. It's totally not like her."

Toshiro stood as he felt the bile rise in his stomach. No… "N-no, I have not seen her for a week."

"Oh well, sorry to bother you. I'll check with her brother."

"I'll go with you," he said as he stood.

At the sixth, "Renji, I was hoping you or Byakuya knew where Rukia was." Ukitake said. Renji's eyes narrowed as he looked at Toshiro.

"She's in the living world. Kuchiki-taicho got her permission to go this morning." He said, eyes never leaving the short captain. Just then a hell butterfly came in and landed on Ukitake's finger. Indeed, it was his notification as to where Rukia had gone.

"I see. My apologies, I didn't mean to get everyone all riled up this morning." He said as he excused himself and went back to his division.

"Yeah, I suppose I had better…"

"I don't know what the hell happened between the two of you, but she's been very upset. I suggest you fix it." Renji said.

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Rukia's fingers traced the engraving on the stone before her. Kurosaki Ichigo. She sighed and sat in front of the stone. It was odd being here again after so long. Once Ichigo died, she stopped coming. It just didn't feel right without him. It did take her a long time to get over him. The connection they had was deeper then love. Deeper than anything she had ever known. Toshiro showed her that it was ok to love again. Or so she thought.

"Oh Ichigo…What am I supposed to do? I know you wanted me to love again and as hard as that's been, I have. I've fallen for him but… But I don't know what to do. I thought he was in love with me. Only to find out he's been in love with a memory of someone I remind him of. How messed up is that?"

"I think your boyfriend is a total idiot for not opening his eyes to fully see what he had in front of him the whole time. I think he's a total ass and that you should never forgive him. I know it will take a while before I forgive myself for what I've done."

Rukia turned around and found herself staring into a pair of beautiful teal eyes.

"Toshiro." She whispered. He grasped her hands in his.

"Perhaps someday you will find it in your heart to forgive an idiot. In the meantime, I hope that you will allow me to show you how much you mean to me. How much I love you, Rukia."

Rukia lifted an eyebrow. "You do?"

"More than I realized." Rukia put her arms around him as he drew her close. She sighed contentedly in his arms.

~FIN~


End file.
